1. Who the hell are you?

I am Cezary Strusiewicz. A roughneck Polack from the woodland heart of the motherland raised through the economical and political struggle of my country… currently studying linguistics in Japan. But in underground tricycle racing circles I am also known as Dr Arkard, a man with a thousand hobbies. My table manners are also the stuff of legends.

2. So what kind of doctor are you? Cause I have this rash on my ass…

Well I have no formal medical training but I can say with 100% certainty that it’s cancer. You should have your ass amputated immediately.

3. If this site is about a “Bleak and violent outlook on life delivered with a smile”, why aren’t you smiling in the header pic?

I don’t know… Probably because I am black.

4. Did you make some of this shit up?

Oh really, what is “truth” anyway? Isn’t all life subjective? I mean, isn’t me writing “Hilary Clinton is a raging lesbo kitten rapist” true in some way?

5. That pic in the header is awesome btw. Where did you steal it from?

The pic was a trade deal between me and John Harmon who does the sexually explicit webcomic Mint Condition. I got the pic, and he got his freedom back.