You know, for kids! Bizarre Japanese Children Tale
One might think that with the creation of Google people would stop obsessing over how weird Japan is. And yet, here we are. I have no idea how long I will be able to keep up writing for this site, but one thing is for sure, I will never run out of the weird shit about Japan to shock and disgust people from every corner of the globe. Still, there comes a time where I want to sit back and entertain more than shock and influence eye gauging. So here is a fairly famous Japanese folk tale for your enjoyment:
Toku and the Foxes.
Foxes are sort of the frat boys of Japanese myths and legends. They are dicks, love playing pranks and possess the cunning ability to change shape (just like an innocent freshman turns into a beer-gut ridden semi-functional retard in the blink of an eye at any given college campus). Among the many foxy legends in Japan none is more hilarious (and foxier) than the tale of the carpenter called Toku (page 104).
A long time ago Toku made a bet with his friends that he will spend the night at a moor known to be a place of congregation for the magical foxes. Prepared to not trust anything he set out to the field, and once there saw Sayo, a beautiful girl from the neighbouring village. She asked him to kindly escort her back home. And even though Toku “knew” she must be a fox in disguise, he decided to play along. And thus when they arrived at “Sayo’s” parents’ house, Toku makes a shocking announcement to them on the side, while striking a Perry Mason pose – he tells them their daughter was a fox. Well the dad was quite flattered he would say so but… oh right, a real fox.
Or possibly this.
The couple however didn’t really believe him, but urged by the carpenter the parents hid in the closet and observed as Toku grabbed the girl and beat her around the head with a piece of kindling, wanting to force her to change shape. But nothing happened. And just like that stripper at your birthday party who kept telling you she ain’t no hoe, before Toku realized it, he had beaten the girl to death. Needless to say her parents were less than thrilled, screaming some things about Murder this and Hanging that.
Luckily for Toku, a Buddhist priest was walking by and heard the noises. Hearing both sides of the story he proposed to him a compromise. Seeing as he would clearly be sentenced to death for his crime, he will in exchange become a monk and the parents will forget this silly incident ever happened.
Agreeing, Toku went outside and let the priest shave his head bald, as a sign of a Buddhist monk. And when the last lock of his hair fell to the ground, wham, Toku awakens in the middle of the magical meadow with maniac laughter surrounding him from all sides. Knowing he had been had by the foxes Toku had to leave his homeland in shame and find employment at the LAPD leading the Farmington Strike Team.
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The funny thing is that when most myths and fairy tales are looked at under a ‘realistic’ lens you can say most of them are creepy. Like Hansel and Grettel being a warning against pedophiles or whatever the fuck the moral was, and yet Japan just still manages to get in that tiny extra bit of crazy that makes you blink and go ‘whaa?’
Except Norse myths, which are just made of awesome, sodomy and bloodshed.
Nice NC reference, Ardvark. The article was also good. Hope to see more translations of Japanese myths from you, I know you’ve wanted to do that for quite some time.
what about those goddamn raccoons huh? i was watching those “tales of terror from tokyo and other parts of japan” and i must say that i was (and still am) thoroughly confused by so many things in that series. have you seen those? because i would love some kind of explanation for the odd shit that the japanese come up with in them. and since i knew nil about japanese culture before watching their movies, i now feel like i know less than i did.
Oh I plan to do a write up on the tanuki pretty soon. Just you wait.