http://drownyourself.com A Bleak And Violent Outlook On Life Delivered With A Smile Fri, 05 Feb 2010 13:46:18 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Today my Cracked article about Statistically Shitty Stereotypes ran. 2 entries were cut, so I am posting them here. Enjoy: The Netherlands are a crazy drug haven Where have we seen it: In many movies and TV shows like “Euro Trip”, “European Gigolo” and even “Hostel”, but more importantly in the dreams and ... http://drownyourself.com/?p=964 There I was, minding my own business, chatting up this really fine girl. Things were going well and I was about to take her to my place when all of a sudden this huge guy appears out of nowhere and throws me out of the Morgue, threatening to call the ... http://drownyourself.com/?p=957 I've been working on a hard-boiled detective story. Here is the first chapter: It was a sunny and warm night, the kind of night you usually expect to be an afternoon. Come to think of it, it probably was an afternoon, what with the Sun still being up and everything. I ... http://drownyourself.com/?p=952 They say brilliant ideas can strike at any time, which proved very true for me. So there I was amidst my quadruple murder trial after purchasing a shotgun and seeing a Nike commercial which told me to “Just do it”. The prosecution was going on and on about “heinous crime” ... http://drownyourself.com/?p=950 Same as the rest of you, I also once feared the reality of one day becoming old. It wasn’t just about my nut sack sagging below the knees (though that was definitely in the top 5 of my worries) but more about the choices I longer will have. What if ... http://drownyourself.com/?p=948 Seeing as I am now poorer than Hobo McPoorperson after blowing all my money on colorful hats and fancy bed spreads (which are my code words for cocaine and Filipino love-slaves), I no longer can afford a car. I would rather start flossing with used tampon-strings than to take the ... http://drownyourself.com/?p=929 Ever since the first days of the internet, Men--or rather horny 14 year olds--of the heterosexual inclination, have asked themselves the question: does watching “she-male on female” action make me gay? Let us explore that concept. The first question we must ask ourselves, is why do we like porn at all. ... http://drownyourself.com/?p=923 Favila, a local warlord of the Spanish region of Asturias was a dime a dozen 8th century Christian who started the church of Santa Cruz and… that’s about all we know about him. Well, that and the fact he enjoyed hunting bears to foster political ties within the court. Today ... http://drownyourself.com/?p=920 Erected in the 12th century by the Marquess of Monferrato in north-west Italy, the Lucedio Abbey will forever be remembered for its key role in introducing rice crops to the region of Vercelli… and possibly guarding the gates of hell from opening and plunging Earth into eternal darkness. So, big ... http://drownyourself.com/?p=918 Naming your pet can be a fun activity. Will it be named after your favorite Star Trek race? Or after your beloved comic book character? You could always name it after the kid who used to steal your lunch money and abuse the hell out of the animal as part ... http://drownyourself.com/?p=913